A couple of weeks ago John and I went with Loressa to Texas Tech for her 'transfer student orientation.' It was fun being at Tech with her because that is where I graduated from, but it was also hard knowing that she will be going to college there...five hours away...having fun... without me. I can't imagine how hard this would have been if she had left me right after high school. At least I had her here while she went to Collin College and lived at home. I don't want her to leave, but I actually have a peace about her going to Tech. I know she'll be happy there. I know she'll build some special relationships. I know she'll live by her convictions. I know she will be able to use her beautiful voice in new and different ways. I also know that things will never be the same. I wish I could say that I'm ok with that, but my entire being begins panicking with even the slightest change even though it is entirely possible that, "Things never being the same," might just mean that they could get even better. I have always had a hard time with change, but not all change has been bad. Emily getting married to Sam was a huge change, but it has definitely been a good one. My grand-daughter being born was a wonderful, good change. I have to learn to find the good in this change, also. At the moment, I can't figure out any of the good for myself, but there will be a great deal of good for her. She will get to spread her wings and get to stand on her own two feet. She'll make important decisions about her future and I know she will have the time of her life. While she is growing and changing, I know at least some of what I will be doing... I will be missing her! Missing my Loressa will mean missing a whole lot of little things. I will miss her and Halton staying up late together singing and writing songs. I will miss her writing her own songs and coming down in the middle of the night for me to hear them. I will miss editing some of her papers. I will miss hearing her lead worship with "More Than A Memory". I will miss her asking me to help pick between different outfits for her to wear, with me already knowing she will probably always pick the opposite of what I pick. I will miss getting to always be in the audience when she sings. I will miss her funny way of looking at life. I will miss doing all my quirky 'mom' things for her, embarrassing her, videoing her every move like only this mom can do. I'm sure I will still have a hard time accepting these changes in our lives and I think it is safe to say that I will be a bit of a basket case when it comes right down to her leaving, but I know I'll be able to do it when the time comes. How do I know I'll be able to let her go and finish this stage of my parenting? The reason is simple...I won't have another choice:)
The Pecoraro's
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Accepting change...
A couple of weeks ago John and I went with Loressa to Texas Tech for her 'transfer student orientation.' It was fun being at Tech with her because that is where I graduated from, but it was also hard knowing that she will be going to college there...five hours away...having fun... without me. I can't imagine how hard this would have been if she had left me right after high school. At least I had her here while she went to Collin College and lived at home. I don't want her to leave, but I actually have a peace about her going to Tech. I know she'll be happy there. I know she'll build some special relationships. I know she'll live by her convictions. I know she will be able to use her beautiful voice in new and different ways. I also know that things will never be the same. I wish I could say that I'm ok with that, but my entire being begins panicking with even the slightest change even though it is entirely possible that, "Things never being the same," might just mean that they could get even better. I have always had a hard time with change, but not all change has been bad. Emily getting married to Sam was a huge change, but it has definitely been a good one. My grand-daughter being born was a wonderful, good change. I have to learn to find the good in this change, also. At the moment, I can't figure out any of the good for myself, but there will be a great deal of good for her. She will get to spread her wings and get to stand on her own two feet. She'll make important decisions about her future and I know she will have the time of her life. While she is growing and changing, I know at least some of what I will be doing... I will be missing her! Missing my Loressa will mean missing a whole lot of little things. I will miss her and Halton staying up late together singing and writing songs. I will miss her writing her own songs and coming down in the middle of the night for me to hear them. I will miss editing some of her papers. I will miss hearing her lead worship with "More Than A Memory". I will miss her asking me to help pick between different outfits for her to wear, with me already knowing she will probably always pick the opposite of what I pick. I will miss getting to always be in the audience when she sings. I will miss her funny way of looking at life. I will miss doing all my quirky 'mom' things for her, embarrassing her, videoing her every move like only this mom can do. I'm sure I will still have a hard time accepting these changes in our lives and I think it is safe to say that I will be a bit of a basket case when it comes right down to her leaving, but I know I'll be able to do it when the time comes. How do I know I'll be able to let her go and finish this stage of my parenting? The reason is simple...I won't have another choice:)
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