The Pecoraro's
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
About Life4Him-Moms Encouraging Moms: Aiming Our Arrows
About Life4Him-Moms Encouraging Moms: Aiming Our Arrows: Moms met together. We shared some of our precious time with each other. Connie Fulks opened her home and shared openly from her heart. We di...
Aiming Our Arrows
Moms met together. We shared some of our precious time with each other. Connie Fulks opened her home and shared openly from her heart. We discussed some of our concerns about raising sons. We offered encouragement and even a little advice, then we left. An evening that was much anticipated by me is already over, but hopefully, and more importantly, the women that were there began a conversation that won't end just because the evening ended.
There were several questions asked that would be good for every woman with sons to ask. One thing that God reaffirmed to me was that we need to ask each other questions. It was so great to hear different perspectives to the questions being asked and it was wonderful to sit in the room and hear affirmation being given to different women in the room after their questions were asked. You know, a lot of parenting is overwhelming and sometimes it is scary. If you are insecure at all (like me), it is easy to second guess every decision you make and it is easy to think that everyone else already knows what the answers are and you are the only one in the dark.
If we could just get away from the idea that we are supposed to already have all the answers, then maybe, more questions would get asked and more questions would get answered to make us all better parents.
We are not alone in our desire to raise Godly young men, but sometimes it feels like we are. Godliness is completely the opposite of the society norm for our sons. They are bombarded with images by the media. Their toys are often video games that do absolutely nothing to help them mature. They are expected to fit into categories or stereotypes and are often ridiculed when they are unique.
Yet, there is a glimmer of hope. There actually are boys that are growing up and maturing in their walk with Christ. I see many of those boys turning into young men who are serving the Lord. They are changing to be more like Him and they are applying scripture to their lives. What more could a mom desire for her son?
Psalm 127:4 says, "Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth." If our children are arrows, then they need to be directed so that they hit the right target. A warrior is a skilled marksman who takes aim and then shoots. He does target practice to get better and better at his aim. We have to decide what we are supposed to aim our children towards and then begin practicing to get better and better at the skill of parenting them toward that goal.
Sometimes, we assume that our children are heading one direction, but they are actually aimed a different way... Sometimes we have to take steps to correct the course that they are on so that we help them hit the right target... Sometimes we need to correct the course that we are on so that we are aiming for the right target ourselves.
Just remember that the right target has nothing to do with what they are going to be when they grow up or how good their grades are or where they are going to go to college. It has everything to do with Whom they are going to serve and whether they are going to grow up to be warriors for Christ themselves. We all agree that there is a battle going on for the hearts and minds of our children and we need to diligently aim our "arrows" toward a life of following Christ.
Yet, there is a glimmer of hope. There actually are boys that are growing up and maturing in their walk with Christ. I see many of those boys turning into young men who are serving the Lord. They are changing to be more like Him and they are applying scripture to their lives. What more could a mom desire for her son?
Psalm 127:4 says, "Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth." If our children are arrows, then they need to be directed so that they hit the right target. A warrior is a skilled marksman who takes aim and then shoots. He does target practice to get better and better at his aim. We have to decide what we are supposed to aim our children towards and then begin practicing to get better and better at the skill of parenting them toward that goal.
Sometimes, we assume that our children are heading one direction, but they are actually aimed a different way... Sometimes we have to take steps to correct the course that they are on so that we help them hit the right target... Sometimes we need to correct the course that we are on so that we are aiming for the right target ourselves.
Just remember that the right target has nothing to do with what they are going to be when they grow up or how good their grades are or where they are going to go to college. It has everything to do with Whom they are going to serve and whether they are going to grow up to be warriors for Christ themselves. We all agree that there is a battle going on for the hearts and minds of our children and we need to diligently aim our "arrows" toward a life of following Christ.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
About Life4Him-Moms Encouraging Moms: Hello Moms
About Life4Him-Moms Encouraging Moms: Hello Moms: Hello again to those who are following along as we try our best to figure out ways to encourage each other. I hope that each of you realize ...
Hello Everyone (not just moms)
Hello again to those who are following along as we try our best to figure out ways to encourage each other. I hope that each of you realize that you are needed in the never ending business of building each other up.
Anyone can tear another person down. It doesn't take much... a look, a thoughtless remark, a Facebook post. I have been discouraged by each of those things, so I'm pretty sure others have also. I know there are some people who just make me feel worse about myself (and I'm convinced they are doing it on purpose), but I'm trying my hardest to not let them get inside my head because they absolutely do not belong there. Oh, I know that I'm totally a sinner and deserve to feel bad about myself, but if the God of the universe values me enough to have sent His Son to rescue me from my sinful self then I have no business allowing some thoughtless person to make me feel worthless.
Who wants to be known as a discourager? Not me!
Who wants to be the one everyone avoids because they never have anything positive to say? Not me!
Who wants to make it to the end of their life and leave a legacy of encouragement to all who have known them? ME! ME! ME!
I really hope you will join me in lifting others up. Our friends and acquaintances need our words of encouragement. They need to be noticed...
Maybe we could all, in the next 24 hours, find someone to build up through our words or actions. Maybe we could find a lot of "someones". Just like anyone can be a discourager, anyone can be an encourager. It might take a little "courage," but let's give it a try.... It can't hurt and I'm pretty sure it will spread a little joy to those who receive your words of affirmation.
Anyone can tear another person down. It doesn't take much... a look, a thoughtless remark, a Facebook post. I have been discouraged by each of those things, so I'm pretty sure others have also. I know there are some people who just make me feel worse about myself (and I'm convinced they are doing it on purpose), but I'm trying my hardest to not let them get inside my head because they absolutely do not belong there. Oh, I know that I'm totally a sinner and deserve to feel bad about myself, but if the God of the universe values me enough to have sent His Son to rescue me from my sinful self then I have no business allowing some thoughtless person to make me feel worthless.
Who wants to be known as a discourager? Not me!
Who wants to be the one everyone avoids because they never have anything positive to say? Not me!
Who wants to make it to the end of their life and leave a legacy of encouragement to all who have known them? ME! ME! ME!
I really hope you will join me in lifting others up. Our friends and acquaintances need our words of encouragement. They need to be noticed...
Maybe we could all, in the next 24 hours, find someone to build up through our words or actions. Maybe we could find a lot of "someones". Just like anyone can be a discourager, anyone can be an encourager. It might take a little "courage," but let's give it a try.... It can't hurt and I'm pretty sure it will spread a little joy to those who receive your words of affirmation.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
About Life4Him-Moms Encouraging Moms: Moms of Sons Encouraging other Moms of Sons
About Life4Him-Moms Encouraging Moms: Moms of Sons Encouraging other Moms of Sons: Hi moms, I hope your week has been wonderful and, just in case it hasn't been wonderful, I hope you have been able to find blessing in the m...
Moms of Sons Encouraging other Moms of Sons
Hi moms, I hope your week has been wonderful and, just in case it hasn't been wonderful, I hope you have been able to find blessing in the midst of any chaos and peace in the midst of any storms. My week was spent on many things, but one of my focuses for this week was figuring out what our next step in "Moms Encouraging Moms" ought to be....
I have, indeed, figured it out and I'm excited to announce that Monday, February 20th, we will have another meeting of the moms, but this one will be specific to mothers of sons. It is my prayer that God can lead us to develop relationships that will help us all as we raise our sons to grow from boys to men. This will not be a Bible Study or book study, although those things may come in the future. This will be a time of sharing and encouraging one another from a Biblical viewpoint.
I'm very excited to announce that my friend and the mother of my son-in-law, Connie Fulks, is going to cohost the evening with me at her home. She is going to share some of her story with you and I know you will be blessed. She is the momma that raised my daughter's husband to become a Godly young man, so I will forever be grateful for her influence on him.
Because of the evening being specific to mothers of sons, I feel like we will be able to have time to ask questions and discuss things that we were not able to go into depth with the last time we were together. I hope that, if you have sons, you will be there and I hope that you will extend the invitation to any of your friends that have sons whether or not you will be able to attend yourself. It is possible that you have sons that are grown or older and you may be wondering if this evening will have anything to offer you...well, maybe it will and maybe it won't, but one thing I'd like to ask you to do is pray about coming and participating with us anyway. Maybe God's plan for you on this night is for you to pour the wisdom that you have gained from your own experiences into some of the moms of younger boys.
I should have more details after this weekend, but mark your calendars now so you will be able to be with us. As always, you can contact me here with questions.
Blessings to you all!
I have, indeed, figured it out and I'm excited to announce that Monday, February 20th, we will have another meeting of the moms, but this one will be specific to mothers of sons. It is my prayer that God can lead us to develop relationships that will help us all as we raise our sons to grow from boys to men. This will not be a Bible Study or book study, although those things may come in the future. This will be a time of sharing and encouraging one another from a Biblical viewpoint.
I'm very excited to announce that my friend and the mother of my son-in-law, Connie Fulks, is going to cohost the evening with me at her home. She is going to share some of her story with you and I know you will be blessed. She is the momma that raised my daughter's husband to become a Godly young man, so I will forever be grateful for her influence on him.
Because of the evening being specific to mothers of sons, I feel like we will be able to have time to ask questions and discuss things that we were not able to go into depth with the last time we were together. I hope that, if you have sons, you will be there and I hope that you will extend the invitation to any of your friends that have sons whether or not you will be able to attend yourself. It is possible that you have sons that are grown or older and you may be wondering if this evening will have anything to offer you...well, maybe it will and maybe it won't, but one thing I'd like to ask you to do is pray about coming and participating with us anyway. Maybe God's plan for you on this night is for you to pour the wisdom that you have gained from your own experiences into some of the moms of younger boys.
I should have more details after this weekend, but mark your calendars now so you will be able to be with us. As always, you can contact me here with questions.
Blessings to you all!
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Boys, boys, boys...Men
On my last post, which I wrote very late last night (if you haven't read it, please do), I mentioned that today I would approach the topic of raising boys...What was I thinking? That is way too big of a topic for a single blog post. I have a feeling we may need to talk about this topic a lot. One of the things that came out of last nights gathering of moms was the huge need we moms have in the area of raising our boys to become men.
Having two sons, I know a little about what is going on in the minds of some of you younger moms as your boys move into double digits and the early teen years...I think the thoughts that went through my mind were, "Where did my sweet, playful little boy go?" "Who took him?" "How can I get him back?" and "Who is this replacement boy that won't talk to me anymore?"
I remember that, as a mom who had only raised girls to that age, I lived in the fairytale land of denial. My denial was simple, if I don't admit that we are having trouble in our relationship then we aren't really having trouble...Please take my advice to NOT do that because the fact of the matter is... "living in denial" didn't end pretty at that time. I really didn't want to admit that my precious little boys were dealing with the pressures of the world and I sure didn't want to admit that what was going on was out of my control..I remember the devastation that I felt when I realized that my perfect family wasn't really perfect. I also remember being completely clueless about how to "fix" my family. Did we need more family time? Did they need more time with their daddy? Did they need to go do a bunch of manly activities? Did they need another lecture? Did they need more space? More rules? More food? More sleep? What in the world did they need that I could give them? I think I may have tried all of those things and honestly, it was a probably a combination of all of that and more, mixed with a lot of prayer and tears and time, that finally made a difference. My girls had definitely been moodier at that, "Awkward for all," stage, but I hadn't felt like they had evaporated into thin air and been replaced with look-a-likes. It was definitely a confusing few years for the boys AND for their mom.
Now, fast forward to today...Halton is a wonderful, Godly young man that has gone through more physical pain than most 20 year olds and still he knows to be thankful for the life God has given to him. He studies and worships on his own, buys books that will help him grow as a leader, seeks Godly council and is trying to faithfully walk down the path that God has him on. Hunter is my 16 year old young man who is more servant minded than any 16 year old that I have ever met. He serves continuously in the background while Halton serves in the forefront. He gives of himself all the time. I've come to realize that one of the phrases that I often hear him say is "I'll do what ever you need me to do, Mom." He entertains us with his quick wit and prays for me and for others all the time. Last night, on the way to the moms meeting, I suddenly became anxious and started tearing up out of fear and insecurity. The next thing I knew, Hunter reached out his hand, placed it on my shoulder and began praying out loud for me as I drove.
If you are a mom of young boys reading this and think, "I'm in that stage where I don't feel like I know my boy very well". Take heart, every mom of sons has been where you are and I would very much like to help you navigate through this turbulent time and I know many other moms would like to help you and your son to come out stronger on the other end of this time of life, too.
Now, just in case you were wondering, I really believe your son needs men in his life, too, but right now we are concentrating on what we, as moms, can do and how much more we need to understand in order to make it through and bring God glory as we help raise our sons to adulthood.
I think, after talking about raising boys so much, we who have sons really need to get together again very soon to talk and encourage and answer each other's questions. Let me know of your schedules for when we can make that happen. In the meantime, please leave questions or comments on here. You never know if your question or comment is something that someone else really needs to hear, so don't be shy. We can only minister to each other if we know what each other's needs are and we can't answer questions that don't get asked.
Having two sons, I know a little about what is going on in the minds of some of you younger moms as your boys move into double digits and the early teen years...I think the thoughts that went through my mind were, "Where did my sweet, playful little boy go?" "Who took him?" "How can I get him back?" and "Who is this replacement boy that won't talk to me anymore?"
I remember that, as a mom who had only raised girls to that age, I lived in the fairytale land of denial. My denial was simple, if I don't admit that we are having trouble in our relationship then we aren't really having trouble...Please take my advice to NOT do that because the fact of the matter is... "living in denial" didn't end pretty at that time. I really didn't want to admit that my precious little boys were dealing with the pressures of the world and I sure didn't want to admit that what was going on was out of my control..I remember the devastation that I felt when I realized that my perfect family wasn't really perfect. I also remember being completely clueless about how to "fix" my family. Did we need more family time? Did they need more time with their daddy? Did they need to go do a bunch of manly activities? Did they need another lecture? Did they need more space? More rules? More food? More sleep? What in the world did they need that I could give them? I think I may have tried all of those things and honestly, it was a probably a combination of all of that and more, mixed with a lot of prayer and tears and time, that finally made a difference. My girls had definitely been moodier at that, "Awkward for all," stage, but I hadn't felt like they had evaporated into thin air and been replaced with look-a-likes. It was definitely a confusing few years for the boys AND for their mom.
Now, fast forward to today...Halton is a wonderful, Godly young man that has gone through more physical pain than most 20 year olds and still he knows to be thankful for the life God has given to him. He studies and worships on his own, buys books that will help him grow as a leader, seeks Godly council and is trying to faithfully walk down the path that God has him on. Hunter is my 16 year old young man who is more servant minded than any 16 year old that I have ever met. He serves continuously in the background while Halton serves in the forefront. He gives of himself all the time. I've come to realize that one of the phrases that I often hear him say is "I'll do what ever you need me to do, Mom." He entertains us with his quick wit and prays for me and for others all the time. Last night, on the way to the moms meeting, I suddenly became anxious and started tearing up out of fear and insecurity. The next thing I knew, Hunter reached out his hand, placed it on my shoulder and began praying out loud for me as I drove.
If you are a mom of young boys reading this and think, "I'm in that stage where I don't feel like I know my boy very well". Take heart, every mom of sons has been where you are and I would very much like to help you navigate through this turbulent time and I know many other moms would like to help you and your son to come out stronger on the other end of this time of life, too.
Now, just in case you were wondering, I really believe your son needs men in his life, too, but right now we are concentrating on what we, as moms, can do and how much more we need to understand in order to make it through and bring God glory as we help raise our sons to adulthood.
I think, after talking about raising boys so much, we who have sons really need to get together again very soon to talk and encourage and answer each other's questions. Let me know of your schedules for when we can make that happen. In the meantime, please leave questions or comments on here. You never know if your question or comment is something that someone else really needs to hear, so don't be shy. We can only minister to each other if we know what each other's needs are and we can't answer questions that don't get asked.
Monday, February 6, 2012
About Life4Him-Moms Encouraging Moms: A New Chapter...Moms Encouraging Moms
About Life4Him-Moms Encouraging Moms: A New Chapter...Moms Encouraging Moms: I'm very excited to begin a new chapter of my life,. Really, it's more of a new view of my life....That might be kind of strange to say sinc...
A New Chapter...Moms Encouraging Moms
I'm very excited to begin a new chapter of my life,. Really, it's more of a new view of my life....That might be kind of strange to say since it's not like anything has drastically changed for me, but over the last year or so I've begun to finally realize that I have entered a new stage of my life. I've come to this conclusion completely kicking and screaming, but at least I've finally admitted that I am, even though I couldn't admit it for some time, one of the "older" women that the Bible talks about in Titus 2:3-5.
God gave me the white hair a long time ago, I guess it is finally time to stop trying to fight it.
I think that for many years, because of still having young children myself, I just didn't feel like I was ready to take on the role of being an older woman because I knew some of what that entailed. I knew that once I accepted that I belonged to the older woman demographic, I would need to begin to mentor younger women. I had many precious older women pour into my life when I was younger and I must say that I don't measure up. I have never felt like I have all that much to offer and I certainly don't feel like I have a great deal of wisdom to impart, but I do finally have the willingness to let God use me in this area.
I have had a few people over the years come to me for advice and I have mostly shied away from giving any because I never want other people to think that I think I have all of the answers. I absolutely KNOW that I don't have all the answers! I have simply come to the conclusion that I have to obey Him and follow His leading in my life. While I'm sure that obedience to Him is the right thing to do, I can also say with confidence that if God chooses to use me through this new chapter in my life to encourage other women it will be only because of Him.
The reason that I'm writing about my newfound vision for my life on this blog is because I would like to use this as a place for women to come and talk about the role of being a wife and a mother. I even changed the name of the blog to reflect its new purpose...I don't think it will hurt anything to have one more place for women to find a little encouragement, so I'm offering this blog as a place for people to share joys and burdens and ask questions or seek advice. I'm not saying that I will have answers to every question or even very good advice, but I can definitely give encouragement here and there. I'll still share stories from my own life as a mom because that's just who I am. I hope you'll feel free to share some of your stories, too.
Maybe you fall into the category that I find myself in. Maybe you think that its time you invested time into some other women. May I encourage you to do it. Don't wait until someone asks you to mentor them. Don't even expect that to happen. Just start by being available to encourage. You can do some of your encouraging on here in written form if you like. I would welcome sweet words from others who want to bless and encourage and add to the comments.
My final and most important thoughts of the day....
When I was a young wife and expecting my first child, I bought a book about advice for young mothers. I'm not really sure if I remember very much of the advice from the book, but I do remember the very first piece of valuable advice that it offered. It went something like this...The greatest thing about advice is that you can take it or leave it. Be kind as you listen to someone's advice whether you asked for it or not and then do exactly what you think God is telling you to do regardless of the advice you were given. It was the best "advice" I ever got!
Stay tuned for tomorrow's blog topic...Raising boys to become Godly men.
God gave me the white hair a long time ago, I guess it is finally time to stop trying to fight it.
I think that for many years, because of still having young children myself, I just didn't feel like I was ready to take on the role of being an older woman because I knew some of what that entailed. I knew that once I accepted that I belonged to the older woman demographic, I would need to begin to mentor younger women. I had many precious older women pour into my life when I was younger and I must say that I don't measure up. I have never felt like I have all that much to offer and I certainly don't feel like I have a great deal of wisdom to impart, but I do finally have the willingness to let God use me in this area.
I have had a few people over the years come to me for advice and I have mostly shied away from giving any because I never want other people to think that I think I have all of the answers. I absolutely KNOW that I don't have all the answers! I have simply come to the conclusion that I have to obey Him and follow His leading in my life. While I'm sure that obedience to Him is the right thing to do, I can also say with confidence that if God chooses to use me through this new chapter in my life to encourage other women it will be only because of Him.
The reason that I'm writing about my newfound vision for my life on this blog is because I would like to use this as a place for women to come and talk about the role of being a wife and a mother. I even changed the name of the blog to reflect its new purpose...I don't think it will hurt anything to have one more place for women to find a little encouragement, so I'm offering this blog as a place for people to share joys and burdens and ask questions or seek advice. I'm not saying that I will have answers to every question or even very good advice, but I can definitely give encouragement here and there. I'll still share stories from my own life as a mom because that's just who I am. I hope you'll feel free to share some of your stories, too.
Maybe you fall into the category that I find myself in. Maybe you think that its time you invested time into some other women. May I encourage you to do it. Don't wait until someone asks you to mentor them. Don't even expect that to happen. Just start by being available to encourage. You can do some of your encouraging on here in written form if you like. I would welcome sweet words from others who want to bless and encourage and add to the comments.
My final and most important thoughts of the day....
When I was a young wife and expecting my first child, I bought a book about advice for young mothers. I'm not really sure if I remember very much of the advice from the book, but I do remember the very first piece of valuable advice that it offered. It went something like this...The greatest thing about advice is that you can take it or leave it. Be kind as you listen to someone's advice whether you asked for it or not and then do exactly what you think God is telling you to do regardless of the advice you were given. It was the best "advice" I ever got!
Stay tuned for tomorrow's blog topic...Raising boys to become Godly men.
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