Boys, boys, boys...Men

On my last post, which I wrote very late last night (if you haven't read it, please do), I mentioned that today I would approach the topic of raising boys...What was I thinking? That is way too big of a topic for a single blog post. I have a feeling we may need to talk about this topic a lot. One of the things that came out of last nights gathering of moms was the huge need we moms have in the area of raising our boys to become men.

Having two sons, I know a little about what is going on in the minds of some of you younger moms as your boys move into double digits and the early teen years...I think the thoughts that went through my mind were, "Where did my sweet, playful little boy go?" "Who took him?" "How can I get him back?" and "Who is this replacement boy that won't talk to me anymore?"

I remember that, as a mom who had only raised girls to that age, I lived in the fairytale land of denial. My denial was simple, if I don't admit that we are having trouble in our relationship then we aren't really having trouble...Please take my advice to NOT do that because the fact of the matter is... "living in denial" didn't end pretty at that time. I really didn't want to admit that my precious little boys were dealing with the pressures of the world and I sure didn't want to admit that what was going on was out of my control..I remember the devastation that I felt when I realized that my perfect family wasn't really perfect. I also remember being completely clueless about how to "fix" my family. Did we need more family time? Did they need more time with their daddy? Did they need to go do a bunch of manly activities? Did they need another lecture? Did they need more space? More rules? More food? More sleep? What in the world did they need that I could give them? I think I may have tried all of those things and honestly, it was a probably a combination of all of that and more, mixed with a lot of prayer and tears and time, that finally made a difference. My girls had definitely been moodier at that, "Awkward for all," stage, but I hadn't felt like they had evaporated into thin air and been replaced with look-a-likes.  It was definitely a confusing few years for the boys AND for their mom.

Now, fast forward to today...Halton is a wonderful, Godly young man that has gone through more physical pain than most 20 year olds and still he knows to be thankful for the life God has given to him. He studies and worships on his own, buys books that will help him grow as a leader, seeks Godly council and is trying to faithfully walk down the path that God has him on. Hunter is my 16 year old young man who is more servant minded than any 16 year old that I have ever met. He serves continuously in the background while Halton serves in the forefront. He gives of himself all the time. I've come to realize that one of the  phrases that I often hear him say is "I'll do what ever you need me to do, Mom." He entertains us with his quick wit and prays for me and for others all the time.  Last night, on the way to the moms meeting, I suddenly became anxious and started tearing up out of fear and insecurity. The next thing I knew, Hunter reached out his hand, placed it on my shoulder and began praying out loud for me as I drove.

If you are a mom of young boys reading this and think, "I'm in that stage where I don't feel like I know my boy very well". Take heart, every mom of sons has been where you are and I would very much like to help you navigate through this turbulent time and I know many other moms would like to help you and your son to come out stronger on the other end of this time of life, too.

Now, just in case you were wondering, I really believe your son needs men in his life, too, but right now we are concentrating on what we, as moms, can do and how much more we need to understand in order to make it through and bring God glory as we help raise our sons to adulthood.

I think, after talking about raising boys so much, we who have sons really need to get together again very soon to talk and encourage and answer each other's questions. Let me know of your schedules for when we can make that happen. In the meantime, please leave questions or comments on here. You never  know if your question or comment is something that someone else really needs to hear, so don't be shy. We can only minister to each other if we know what each other's needs are and we can't answer questions that don't get asked.