Missing Loressa

I haven't been on here for a long time. My summer has been busy, but fun. It was full of mission trips, Vacation Bible School, youth camps and many days filled with random activities in order to be prepared for all of those big events. I started off excited about the summer, but dreading the end of it because of a very important milestone for our family that I knew was coming. I was hoping the day wouldn't really come, but, of course, it did come and now we are on the other side of it. My second oldest daughter, Loressa, left for Texas Tech to begin her adventure of living away from home. I wasn't sure that I would make it through the weekend of delivering her to Lubbock, but I did. I didn't make it without buckets full of tears, but I did make it through. For the last two weeks of summer, all I could think about were her days as a little girl. Oh, how I miss those days...I miss all of her little quirks. I miss the way she would only wear "spin around" dresses and her hair always looked like a mess because the pony tails had to be loosened just the right amount immediately after I put them in her hair.  I miss all those years that we played light-up electronic solitaire at night under the covers when I was supposed to be singing her to sleep. I miss a million other things about her childhood and I always will, but right now I also miss the all grown-up Loressa-the beautiful, wonderful, talented young woman who still has a million different quirks, and it is still those little quirks that make her so lovable. To say that I treasure all of my special memories of Loressa is quite an understatement. I hope and pray that the future holds many more special moments and the opportunity to make many more memories...Lately, I've been thinking back to my days of being a young mom so many years ago. I still remember older mothers telling me about how quickly time flies... I really wish that they hadn't been right.

The last day of single digits

Today is quite possibly going to be a bit of a hard day for me. I'm not a big fan of my children growing up and today is the last day for my baby, Destiny, to be nine years old. Tomorrow she will be having her tenth birthday and I am just not ready for all of my children to be in the double digits, I know I probably have written about this before, but I miss my babies being babies. I miss the slow pace of parenting young children and I miss the position that I held in their lives when they were younger and they thought I knew everything.  I miss the days when no one had a job or college classes and we all got to spend the days together in the same room enjoying life together. I guess I like that my children are all responsible young people and they all work and pay their own way to all the things that they want to do, but I hate that, in order for them to be so responsible, I've had to give up my time with them. I wish I could make time slow down so that I could really remember every moment because so much of it is starting to blur together....I hate wasting the precious time that I have left with them and I'm starting to feel like that is what is always happening around here. Time is wasted on TV and on computers and on iphones and ipods. We are all very good at wasting time and, in some ways, I think that it is Satan's way of robbing from me, so that I always feel like I have missed out on potential precious moments.....With all of that said, we are all going to try to make today and tomorrow very social days for Destiny, the birthday girl. Right now, we (those of us still at home) are going to play some games and do a few special activities with Destiny. Then, tonight, we are going to all go see a movie together and try to get home so that we can have our midnight celebration for her birthday. Destiny has always been such a wonderful little girl. She is always ready to make me feel loved and appreciated and I can't even begin to think of what my life would have been like without her. I think I'll have to write another note later about my precious Destiny, but for now I have to go. A precious moment is happening and I don't want to miss any more of it...

Well, I've been a grandma since Wednesday and I love it! The only hard part is that I can't be around Violet Rose 24/7. Her parents have this silly idea that they are supposed to be with her more than she is supposed to be with me. I guess they are right, but, oh, how I wish I could hold her constantly. She is so beautiful and I look forward to the future that she has. Speaking of the future,... I think it's really unbelievable that time goes by so fast. Emily was that tiny baby in my arms 23 years ago and it seems like yesterday. I'm scared that if I blink I'm going to miss part of Violet's childhood......I know, I'm a little obsessive, aren't I, but that's still how I feel about all of my own kids, too. I don't want to miss a single thing. I video things that are probably unnecessary and I take extra pictures of just about everything.  I've spent most of my days as a parent in a quest to make memories and to make sure that I will remember and celebrate special moments, but I still can't stand time passing by. I know I should be used to it by now. Three of my children are pretty much grown and the other four will be catching up to them before I know it, but I will never get used to time marching on....See why I need to hold Violet, I need a distraction from over-thinking growing up. I just need Violet in my arms because when she is in my arms all I can think about is her:)